


Heart & Mind

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A.I Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Dark, Zombie Apocalypse, brought to you by the, but unsuccessful, suicide for freedom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21952513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Yuri won’t be a guest in his own body, in his own life. He has control over his destiny and this is not it. No matter what, he won’t be turned. Not into a Zombie, not into a Machine. It doesn’t matter how much that stupid AI tries, only he gets to decide that. If he dies, he’ll do so as a Human.
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	Heart & Mind

_ “And remember, Zombie bites don’t have to be fatal. We can help you get better, all you have to do after you are bitten is turn yourself in at the nearest station. The process is fast and you won’t feel a thing. It’ll be like taking a long nap.” _

Bunch of hypocrites, every last one of them. If they cared so much about it, they wouldn’t have introduced the virus in the first place.

_ “It’s better than dying and taking your loved ones with you, Shellie.”  _ The news anchors give a fake laugh, their head tilting at awkward angles.

_ “That’s right, Shellie, it’s the best choice. The only choice.” _

_ “In other news—” _

“Yuri, turn that thing off, we need to hurry,” Victor yells from the kitchen.

He rolls his eyes. Then, what he has been waiting for shows up on the screen. “We’re on tv again!”

After a few shuffling noises, Victor comes to stand behind Yuri, who sits on the couch. He is still shoving cans of food into one of his backpacks. The clanging is louder than the news, so he turns the volume up. Both of their pictures are still on the screen.

_ “We repeat, their names are Yuri Plisetsky and Victor Nikiforov, former figure skaters, they were last seen this afternoon in…” _

“Shit, I told you you weren’t being careful enough.”

“Fuck off, you know I was. They must be getting better at detecting humans.”

“Whatever, you’re not coming next time. We better hurry before the homeowners come back.” Victor zips the backpack and passes it to him.

_ “We ask you to stay alert and report them. The reward for information that could lead to their capture….” _

“They’ll be back until tomorrow, we have time. Stop fussing around.”

“We don’t know that. It's always better to be careful.”

“Do you think one of them gave us away?” The other people at camp still eye them suspiciously. “In exchange for some sort of deal?”

Victor sighs. “Yuri, we can’t go around suspecting people like this. In our group, we keep each other safe, we are a family now. And if you don’t start accepting that, they won’t accept you either. Besides, what kind of deal could they offer? Their plans for us are clear, and it’s the same one for all.”

Lights flash in Victor’s face, and they both turn to the window. The time for arguments is over, the Shells are back. Shit. He turns off the TV and as Victor runs out of the house, he goes to the bathroom to get all the toilet paper he can carry. The Shells don’t need it anymore, their bodies don’t produce any waste, most of them don’t even eat, but like keeping it around for some reason. Like that makes them humans, but they aren’t, nothing can make them so, they lost all their humanity long ago.

When he walks out the back door, Victor is already at the truck, trying to get the old thing started. “Hurry up!”

Stupid Victor, he was right again. Despite everything, he can’t really complain about his apocalypse partner. They’re all they have anymore. Everyone else at home got captured. Yuri still has nightmares about coming home to find Grandpa acting strange, chasing him around the house, his aches long forgotten, talking about how it was for his own good. How he would be glad he did it in the end. How the pain would stop and he would be free to sleep for eternity.

Yuri won’t be a guest in his own body, in his own life. He has control over his destiny and this is not it. No matter what, he won’t be turned. Not into a Zombie, not into a Machine. It doesn’t matter how much that stupid AI tries, only he gets to decide that. If he dies, he’ll do so as a Human.

The Shells enter and see him standing by the back door, clutching all the rolls of toilet paper and staring at Victor like an idiot instead of running to safety. Surprise freezes them long enough to allow him to escape.

A few of the rolls fall as he runs, they react a few seconds after he does, chasing after him and yelling to stop.

They’re slow, no match for him until he trips on a hose and hits the ground on all fours, the paper rolling away from him. One of them, the youngest one, is getting closer and there is no time to get everything. At least he still has the backpack.

It grabs Yuri by the arm. They have him. They’ll turn him in and nothing can save him now. He tries to get away but the Shell is strong. The most he manages is to make its hand slip. It holds him up and he pulls his arm again, almost getting it off the socket.

With a strong tug, Yuri gets away. It rips his sleeve off his shirt but he is free once again. As the Shell looks at the scraps of fabric in its hand, he runs. Victor has already started the truck and he has to chase after it.

His muscles burn and he is short of breath, being a former athlete helps him a lot but he still isn’t as in shape as he used to be. Victor opens the passenger door, slowing the truck down as much as he can, and he jumps inside. His heart beats fast in his ears, blocking most of Victor’s blabbing. It can’t block the pat on the back and the wide smile.

They need to be on high alert once they make it back to camp. They’re getting too close to them to be safe. It’s been several times they’ve almost been found now. The Shells are persistent. Either that or Victor thinks too highly of their campmates.

One of the group members could be a traitor. If not, how are they doing this? Are sports really that important in the cyborg world? Or is it some sort of sick, collector thing. For all their preaching, the Shells aren’t that much better than humans.

* * *

Victor won’t ditch the group and Yuri won’t drop the subject. It’s a stupid plan and he won’t back down until he shows him the error of his ways.

Since they’re alone, Yuri does all the talking he can’t do around the ‘grown-ups’ at camp. He isn’t an adult yet, but that doesn't make him a child. No one cares he’s much closer to the former than the latter. It’s bullshit, that’s what it is.

It’s almost dawn, and they still aren’t there. They were supposed to have met the group by the docks hours ago. Victor insists on waiting and won’t hear a word against it, not even if they've been waiting for so long their butts started to freeze over and he had to leave the truck to stretch his legs. Yuri sits in the driver's seat, just in case.

“We should leave, for our sake and theirs. Why are you being so stubborn? Think about it. If it were you, what would you do?” Yuri is quick to answer his own question. “I know what I would do, I’d protect myself and set up a trap for the pair of assholes putting the whole camp in danger. They have no reason not to do it. The Shells don’t care about them as much as they do us. Please, let's just ditch them and keep driving.”

“No. I’m staying with the group. It's better for us in the long run, there is safety in numbers. I’ve made myself too lovable and useful, you should have done the same instead of wasting time being an antisocial grump. Besides, aren't you giving yourself too much importance? And the two of us can’t live isolated from everyone. You’re not that great company. We need a group to socialize too. It’s good to have others in times of crisis. It’s what makes us different from them.”

“You have to admit, I have a point, they’re the ones calling them on us, they’re the cause of our crisis. I bet we could live alone longer and more peacefully without them.”

“Unless you’re willing to bet your life on it, I don’t want to hear more on this. You can leave alone if you want.”

Alone? He wouldn’t think of it twice if he still had Potya. As things stand, that’s his last option. Not to mention Yuri has no real idea of where they are anymore. He’s never been there and Victor controls all the maps. Another reason he can’t ditch him.

“Fine, we’ll do it your way.” He crosses his arms, turns to look out the opposite window. It’s so peaceful out there, almost like nothing happened and the world is still the same.

He might have agreed, but they still can’t be trusted. Only Victor can be and that’s barely. They’ve known each other for years and are being hunted by the same people. They’re on the same boat. If one of them falls, so will the other.

A pair of lights come into view, they aren’t very close, but they could be any second, going by the speed at which they head towards them. It’s not their campmates, they move in larger groups.

It could be nothing, just some random Shell passing by, unaware of everything, or it could be the other type. The type that hunts.

As they get closer, the familiar white van comes into view. Fuck, it’s really them. The Shells found them, but how? Did they follow them? Or did someone sell them over? Was he right all along? Why is he always right about the terrible things?

Yuri shuts his door and drives by Victor, almost sending the truck into the water. He jumps in the back and off they are.

They haven’t won yet, the Shells are chasing after them. In a display of violence they condemn in humans, they shoot at Victor in the back. Not with killing bullets, but with special ones that won't hurt him besides infecting him with the Zombie Virus. A fate far worse than death. They can’t allow that. Yuri opens the small back window and somehow Victor cramps through it without getting shot in the butt.

With the world going to hell, Yuri never really had a chance to learn to drive very well. He hits a few signs and runs over a Shell jogging on the side of the road. It wasn't on purpose but he's not worried, they won't be hurt, the human trapped inside can’t feel it anymore. His amateur maneuvering gets taken over by Victor, he holds the wheel with a steady hand before he drives them off a cliff.

It goes smoother from there and they can get into a mostly deserted road that goes through the woods. Trees flashing by on either side of them. If it wasn’t a life or death matter, he would have stopped to enjoy the view.

The Shells are disappearing in the distance, getting smaller by the second. Yuri doesn't dare get his hopes up. They’re still following, they won’t rest until they catch them.

And then Victor looks away, distracted for a second, and it happens. It was only a matter of time before Yuri went off the road and crashed them into a tree, but he did not expect it to be because he swirled trying not to hit some random guy, his movements too fluid to be a Shell, taking a stroll.

Who the fuck even takes a stroll through the forest during a damn Zombie Apocalypse?

The seat belt stops him from bashing his head on the wheel. His head is rattled and he is a bit shaken, but otherwise not hurt. Victor’s head is too hard to get broken by such a small crash, there is only a light red spot on his forehead, where he smacked it on the window.

The car won't move, smoke is coming out of it. Shit, he’s trying but his eyes don’t remain open long. His body won’t obey him, he has no strength to keep going. This is it. They’ll find and catch them. Victor isn’t much better, like Yuri, he would rather die than be taken over. If the guy is thankful in any way for them not running him over, he will strangle them while they are out. Hopefully, the Shells won’t find them first and they can die in peace.

  
  
  


It’s night by the time he wakes in the forest floor, and the first thing he does is stick his hand into the fire.

It gets pulled back before he can get a bad burn. The glorious sting of it confirms he is still Human.

“There are better ways to check,” Victor says, pressing a finger to Yuri’s forehead.

He hisses and slaps his hand away. There is a large bump on it, like the one on Victor’s own forehead. “What happened?”

Victor only nods towards something behind him. Yuri turns, holding back a groan as his back snaps.

There he is, the guy that had been standing in the middle of the forest for no good reason. He looks severely concerned for someone that doesn’t know them. His two thick eyebrows almost turning into one. None of that is important, not when he’s holding a delicious plate of food in his hands.

He holds it out to Yuri and he takes it as permission to pig out to his heart’s content. It doesn’t mean he’s forgiven, but it’s been so long since they’ve had any decent food. Where did he get it? As he eats, Victor continues the conversation he was having before Yuri woke up.

They both made it. This guy really helped them, instead of using them to negotiate his own freedom. Maybe he didn't know who they were?

“Hello,” he says at Yuri as he passes him some more food, “I’m Otabek Altin.”

While he can’t be that bad if he is willing to share his food without being asked, he isn’t about to tell a stranger his name. “I’m Nikolai.”

He stares, and for a second Yuri is sure he is about to call bullshit.

“I’ve been hiding from the Shells here, it’s safe if you want to stay too.”

For how long would that be? Until they slip and he learns their real names? It’s better if he and Victor go with his plan and hide together, without anyone else. Looking at Victor for help is useless, he just looks at Yuri holding in laughter. Was the damage to his head too much? What is wrong with him?

“We were supposed to meet our group. You could come with us if you’d like.”

If Victor keeps opening his huge mouth he’ll have no other choice but to throw him into the fire. Why is he inviting some asshole that almost killed them to travel with them? The whole thing proves he isn’t careful enough to be around them, he’ll put them in needless danger.

“Thanks, Victor. I’d be glad to if… Nikolai agrees.”

Yuri sighs and puts the plate down. So the idiot gave away his real name. Will he ever stop being so trusting? And what’s with this Otabek guy? The way he looks at Yuri, it’s almost as if he knows what he did and is disappointed. Like he doesn't have enough being a disappointment lately for the people that he does know, he now has to be one for strangers too.

Yuri interrupts their talk before they can form any real plans. “That’s not a good idea. We don’t know if we still have a group to return to, and even if we can get the car going and find them, the group is too delicate. They don't accept strangers, so I doubt they would let you join. It’s better if we go on our own.”

Otabek looks down, disappointed again. Isn’t he investing too much time and emotion on them? What does he expect out of this? There is something about him, something odd about this whole situation. Yuri’s body screams to be away from him, he isn't trustworthy. It sends chills up his arms, makes every hair on them stand on end. Can’t Victor tell?

None of them bring up the subject again. Yuri does his best to ignore him without being too rude for the rest of their stay. It’s not a long one, they mostly wait for a Shell to drive around so they can hijack the car. Because of Otabek’s little stunt prancing around like a deer, it’s wrecked and unfixable in the apocalypse.

The days go by in silence when Victor leaves them alone, which happens more and more often. He is trying to find the others, and Yuri won’t lift a finger to help him. From thirty assholes to just one to deal with, it’s safer with one. Even if he is the one that has come closest to killing them.

Sometimes while they are looking for something to hunt in the woods, he looks at Yuri like he wants to talk. It only takes one strong look to make him shut up. If that doesn’t work, he walks away and that is that.

Otabek’s relationship with Victor seems okayish though, and that’s troubling. If he’s not careful, they are going to end up rejoining the others with a plus one. There isn’t much going on, not a full-blown friendship, but also not tense companionship, like theirs.

They watch the road often, waiting for a Shell to drive by. Sometimes they go out camping in their desire to do human-like things. Once they see one in the distance, they call the others and put on an old show. One a human wouldn’t fall for but Shell’s are still naive to. For some things, they’re cunning assholes but for others, it’s like going against a baby.

And so, a day, a tied Shell in the woods, and a stolen truck later, Victor and Yuri are off. Since they couldn't agree on Otabek joining their little group, he doesn't enter. All new members must be unanimous.

They drive to that old camp they agreed to meet at and join up with what's left of the group. Not all of them are there, but none were waiting for them or even expected to see them again. For the good of the group, they pretend not to notice the looks they give each other and give them another chance. Victor will have a talk with them in the morning.

Yuri is too tired to fight.

* * *

About half of the group made it to their new location in the woods. Some arrived in small groups, others alone. A large portion lost at least one member of their family. Though it’s been almost a year since it all started, the mood hasn't improved one bit. Not that he blames them, he misses Grandpa every day.

Though their camp is nothing special, with no real defenses, the Shells haven't found them. If they did have a traitor in their midst, he is gone with the captured ones or regrets it too much to talk again. The group doesn’t dare to act against them without them, not after what it cost them last time.

During the night, he helps bring wood for the fire. He’s usually pretty alert, that's why he hears the footsteps. It doesn't matter if it’s a Zombie or a Shell, they’ll meet the same end.

Yuri lifts his ax and turns towards the noise, swinging. The thing is too fast, moving away before Yuri can decapitate it and using the dark to hide. There is too much rustling of feet to only be one. A group of Shells then, Zombies wouldn’t do that. Backup might be needed if they’re carrying a Virus Gun. He’ll rather cut off his own head than get hit with that.

“Whoa, Yuri, it's me.”

The voice almost brings something to mind, but he can’t quite place the person. It must show on his face, in the little light the full moon and the camp lights shine on his face.

“We met some months ago, you almost ran me over.”

What? How could he forget? What is he doing there? How does he know his real name?

“I heard there was a community here, but I didn’t know it was yours,” he says, lowering his hands slowly. “The place I was hiding in was attacked by Shells, I then ran into this group of kids along the way, their community was wiped by Zombies. We thought you could have us.” He comes into the light, with a group of six children clutching his clothes from behind. The youngest must be around four, and the oldest ten.

No. He should say no. It’s what everyone agreed on and they were right to. But those kids are all alone in the world. He can't in good conscience let them out there to be trapped or die, and if that means letting in the creep…

Yuri lifts the ax again until it's barely a centimeter away from Otabek’s neck. “How do you know my name? I never gave it to you.”

He gives a sad smile. “I was a figure skater too, we met during a camp. I'm not surprised you don't remember me.”

Oh, that explains so much. So Victor knew all along and they both let him act like an idiot giving a fake name and thinking he got away with it.

He hasn't seen him hunted on the news, but that could be because he is a foreigner. In his own country, he must be in as much trouble as they are. That means he is in the same boat as Victor and him. If there is someone to trust in this world, it's the people that have the same to lose by betraying them. Now he gets to add one more person to that list.

“Fine.” He waves at them to follow him. Otabek carries the four-year-old with one arm and gives his hand to one of the kids. They form a chain and don’t let go of each other’s hands the entire way. At the edge of the trees, Yuri turns to them again. “Stay here, I’ll have to convince them first. I don’t promise anything.”

Children are a strain on their resources, is the argument they go by and what they like to throw in Yuri’s face, but Otabek is an adult or looks like one, so he will be able to help care for them. Yuri can do his part too. Sure, he is underage, but he is far from a child. He can help provide from now on. Maybe now he’ll get an equal vote on serious matters too.

  
  
  


The idea isn’t as unpopular as he thought it’d be. No one is thrilled to have Otabek around, but the children win everyone’s hearts pretty fast. Even if they are trying to replace lost loved ones or trying to distract themselves, the children are benefiting from it, so Yuri holds his bitter comments to himself and everyone puts up with the creepy stranger the kids seem to love.

* * *

Yuri does help provide for the kids along with Otabek, but it doesn't help him get treated like an adult. During the important meetings were their next steps are decided, he tends to end up on the children's tent, playing checkers with the ten-year-old as Otabek reads to the others.

He is good at it, but the material isn't. It was a lot better last meeting when he borrowed the guitar and sang for them. His voice was nice and deep, and in another life, he would have loved to sleep to it every night. But the strings broke as if to remind them such comforts are impossible in this day and age.

When the kid falls asleep mid-game, he turns to rest on his back and looks at Otabek. They're both outsiders in the group, stuck between worlds, but somehow still don’t fit together.

"You know, I'm supposed to entertain the children." He closes the book and tucks one of the kids in properly.

"Ok, so?" Yuri scratches his belly already over the whole conversation.

"You don't seem entertained."

"I am also not a child."

"I'm just saying, they still sent you here and all the kids are asleep, so we could go out and do something as long as we stay close and in view of the tent."

There is still something about the guy that sends chills through his body, but it's too early to sleep and he is bored, so he accepts.

  
  
  


Otabek turns out to be kind of a cool guy, in the end. The anecdotes about his friends before the world went to hell are pretty damn funny. And he has so much dirt and embarrassing stories about that dumbass JJ.

Yuri ends up spilling everything about his grandpa. How he raised him and helped with his ice skating…

They both miss it. It sucks that he never got to beat Victor's old ass in front of the entire world. Or got to see Otabek in action and compete with him.

He sighs and stops walking. The children's tent is still in view, and so is the adults', but no one that looks out from either one of them will be able to find them in the darkness of the trees.

Otabek squeezes his shoulder and gives him a weak smile. "Hey, maybe when all this is over, we can compete again. Maybe my skating will blow the great Yuri Plisetsky away."

"No way." Yuri tries to laugh, but it's a sad attempt at it. "What if we are too old by then?" They had given everything to the sport and then … the only way to compete again would be to lose their humanity. Which he might not mind as much if he was conscious, but the whole “your consciousness will be asleep" thing really freaks him out. He wants an active part in his own life.

"Then we'll become coaches and live through our pupils." He pinches at Yuri's cheek, tilting the corner of his mouth upwards for a second, and rests his hand on the side of his neck. "Nothing lasts forever, not even the Apocalypse."

Somehow, the warmth that starts on his face makes it all over his body, despite the cold hand on him.

* * *

The temperature has been getting colder. A few snowflakes fall every now and then. The conversation has turned to whether they should stay for the winter or not. Zombies don't do well in cold weather, neither do Shells. But for that matter, neither do humans. They are running a very hard risk by staying.

Sometimes Otabek has a little trouble with his joints in the mornings and nights. Not too different from Grandpa, who sometimes claimed he could predict the rain with his aches.

Even when he says it’s nothing, the worry shows through his eyes. It’ll be a painful winter if they stay. It’s never been in his plans to leave the country, in case things changed and Grandpa needed him, but there is too much on the line.

Even with their feet directly over the fire, Otabek is as cold as ever. He waits until they are the last ones awake to bring up the subject.

“I heard they are splitting the group since the vote was pretty even.”

“Yeah,” Otabek says, “they were passing the sign-up sheet this morning.”

It didn’t reach him. It must have gone to Victor, as the one responsible for him. He also wants to stay, it is everything they know. Sure, they had traveled a lot, but Russia has always been their home.

“Victor signed us to stay.”

“I know. I’m staying too.”

Yuri turns away from him. They might be assumptions, but he has to give it a shot. “You’re no good in the cold, if we get attacked you could die or get turned. You should go.”

“I don’t—”

“I’m going with you, and if you really like this place we can come back when it’s warm again. Just—please.” The thought of staying and something happening because of him, it’s unbearable. Otabek has no other reason to stay. “You’re the only one I—since Grandpa I—you’re my only friend.”

In this whole shitshow of a world, Otabek is the only person that treats him as an equal. He has to remain well and alive, or Yuri will never forgive him for it.

When he shudders, Yuri takes the chance and scoots closer to him. It’s a sneaky way to keep him warm but he doesn't complain.

“Fine, let’s tell Victor tomorrow then.”

* * *

Victor agrees to go with them, and a week after their discussion, half the camp is making the way south. They have to be careful, so it’s taking them weeks to get to their destination.

It wasn’t something he’d noticed before, but since they have a lot of time to spend together on the road, it’s become clear. Beka is very open about some aspects of his life but very close about others. It wouldn’t usually be a concern, but it’s over the strangest of things. There is no sort of pattern he can make out, only that he ends up feeling like an intruder. He wants to be more than that.

When the lunar eclipse happens, they lay on the back of their new assigned truck. It’s beautiful and an event they can't take for granted. Victor is off, watching it on his own somewhere, and he’s with Beka. Alone.

“Do you remember all the people you met at camp?”

“Just the ones with the soldier's eyes.”

“Oh.” What does that even mean? Are there many of them? How dumb, he didn’t even mention which camp. They have been in many lately.

“Just you. No one else. That's why when I saw you again, I knew I had to find you.”

“Huh? Why? What about your family? Wait—you knew where I was?”

Beka covers his eyes with his arm. “They were captured. There was a rumor that some personalities could overcome the AI and live again. Take control of their body, but if that's true, they weren't one of them. I tried to wake them, it didn't work.”

That rumor never reached him, if it had, he might have lost himself trying to bring Grandpa back. “I'm sorry.”

Beka nods, moving his arm to lie beside him. “When I saw you again, and your eyes were still the same, I knew it’d be different for you. Even if you were to be taken over, I believe you would prevail.”

“I hope we never find out.” Yuri grabs his hand, cold as ever, and he holds it back. They continue to watch the sky as the moon turns a dark red color and disappears.

  
  
  


For some time now, he has been getting closer to him without the intention of keeping him warm. There is something between Beka and him. It’s been there ever since the eclipse, but he doesn't want to put a name on it. On that tension in the air whenever he is present. The way his whole body listens when he talks. How it burns when he touches him, even with cold fingers in the middle of the harsh winter.

Several times, his heart has tried to beat right out of his chest. If that weren’t enough, he makes excuses to touch him, which are unnecessary as Beka seems to be happy to do so for no reason.

From time to time, they get very close. Barely centimeters apart, breathless. Yuri notices little things too, ones that he didn’t before. Like the beautiful shade of brown of his eyes. Or how he keeps his skin so perfect in the middle of the apocalypse. His cute nose and most of all, the curve of his lips. And his ass. That has a nice curve too.

At first, it was embarrassing when Beka caught him looking. When his eyes would trail down to his arms, torso and further down while they talked. But he stopped caring soon enough. He does it too, so what's the big deal?

Stargazing in the truck becomes a weekly event for them. They prepare it with old blankets and pillows, ready to enjoy the only part of the world that has remained unchanged since they lost everything.

This time something is different right off the start. Beka feels it too, for sure. Something will change tonight, and for once, it can't come soon enough.

Instead of laying on his usual spot in the truck, he lays his head on Beka’s chest. The steady rhythm of his breathing almost lulls him to sleep. In his arms, it's almost like the world is at peace. Nothing matters but the two of them, in that old truck in the middle of nowhere after the end of the world.

He lifts his head and looks into Beka’s eyes as much as he can in the moonlight. He looks so cute with his tousled hair and his drowsy eyes, blinking up at Yuri and giving him a quick, sleepy smile.

Yuri leans in slowly, so that he can process what is happening, and brushes his lips on the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t move away, feeling Beka smile as he holds his face and gives him a chaste kiss.

A scream pierces the night and his heart. More follow, his campmates run around, carrying their children into their cars, others stay behind to fight. The Shells found them. They need to get out of there fast.

Yuri jumps off Beka and gets into the driving seat through the small back window like Victor did almost a year ago. Victor, he is still out there, he can't leave without him. He takes his ax and once Beka is done going around the truck to sit in the front (he was too wide for the window), he turns to him. “You stay here, I have to find Victor.”

“Yura, no. We don't have time to waste, we need to get out of here before they find you.”

What the fuck? That he even thinks Yuri would ever do that is offensive. He grabs his ax. “I can’t. You take the truck and wait, I’ll be right back.” With one more kiss that he hopes isn't the last, he hops out of the car and into the night, where people and Shells run in every direction.

“Victor! Victor!”

Everything happens so fast, the whirlwind is dying down. Most of the families have already left. The camp is almost empty, only the abandoned, trampled tents remain.

Victor wouldn't have left with them without him, but where could he be? If he got captured they won’t stand much of a chance. The Shells never take their captives on a ride as humans if their machines are still intact. They have set one up at the back, in a white van next to a tent that wasn’t set up before. There is a crowd around it, most gather there, a few are looking for survivors. Yuri makes no noise as he gets nearer, careful to stay in the dark.

The tent is open, around ten or so campers are already put to sleep. The Shells carry one of the bodies into the back of the van and inject something into the camper’s neck. The man starts convulsing and screaming in agony. Yuri covers his mouth and tries not to hurl. How can they survive that?

It’s a relief that Victor isn't among the men.

A man walks out of the trees, flipping his hair. Oh. Whatever they inject them, it acts too fast. It's clear in the way his body moves that it isn't Victor in control of his body anymore.

Yuri shakes his head many times as if he can somehow deny what is in front of him. No. They’ve been through so much together, and Yuri failed him. He didn't get to him in time.

Teeth snap close to his ear. When Yuri turns, he trips on his own feet and hits the hard ground. The Zombie that almost bit him keeps advancing. It barely resembles the woman she once was, but it’s enough to know it was one of the campers that adopted a kid.

His hands are empty. Fuck, out of the impact of seeing Victor, he let go of his ax. To get it, he would have to get way too close to the Zombie. It’s just one, and Yuri could fight it and win, but by that time the Shells would have heard the commotion and be on their way. To top it off, he twisted his ankle when he fell so outrunning them is out of the question.

The Zombie trips and falls half on top of him. He tries to scoot back but puts very little distance between them. The pain shoots up his leg, and his arms give out under him. He closes his eyes tight and accepts his fate. It’s still better than to live as an empty, powerless thing in the back of his own mind.

The bite doesn't come. He opens one eye, and then the other. It’s being fought back by Beka, his hero.

He is swinging Yuri’s ax like he was born to it. The Zombie drops to the floor, dead.

All the tension leaves his body at once, and he slumps onto the ground, only for it to come back again. Beka is staring at his arm, his eyes wide as he clutches at it.

It’s not fair. This shouldn’t be, he shouldn’t be forced into picking when both options are the same. His mind will die in both, as his body keeps on. The agreement is to end their misery, but it’s easier said than done. Yuri can’t possibly bring himself to cause him physical harm, even if it is to save him.

No. It can’t be fatal. Others have survived worse, it was just his left arm. Maybe they can chop it off before he dies. Maybe it was just a scratch. A cramp or something.

“Beka, are you okay?” Yuri hurries to him, his own pain forgotten, and tries to look at the arm. Beka won't let him.

“I’m ok, Yura, it just bit my clothes.”

With all his strength, Yuri yanks his arm up, uncovering the wound. It's horrifying. Worse than anything he could’ve imagined. Instead of the nasty, bloody bite of a Zombie, it’s all exposed wires.

It can't be.

Did they get him too? No, he doesn't seem different, like Victor. Yuri’s grip on his arm loosens, and his arm slips out, free to cover  _ that  _ once again.

“H-how long?” Since he arrived? Since he almost ran him over? How long has he been one of them?

Beka closes his eyes in defeat. “I was one of the first captured ones.”

That long. Was anything so far even real? Everything, since they’ve met, has been a lie.

“You lying—" he raises his hand but the Shells are getting close, they keep sending lights their way. He needs to leave now if he wants to get away. He picks up the ax and runs away into the woods, where they won't find him.

* * *

It’s been months or maybe weeks. Definitely more than days. Time means nothing when you’re all alone, without anything or anyone you’ve ever loved. He’d been used, and it caused everyone to be captured.

Yuri is still in those woods. Moving from side to side, trying to coexist with it and determined not to find his group or join a new one.

It was his stupidity that caused his end. How could he have believed that? Soldier’s eye, what a load of bullshit.

From time to time, he has to hide from Otabek—or Shellie, whatever it goes by—as it walks around the woods, hunting him. Sometimes it goes too long without an appearance and seems to have given up, but it always comes back. The Shells come around too, but they either get discouraged soon or they are much better at keeping a low profile.

The time in the woods has taught him how to get his own food, but he misses many things from civilization even more now that he is alone. Sometimes, when the hunger is at its worst, he considers taking the offer and sleeping forever; dreams about letting his body be near his grandfather's, even if they won't know it. But then he comes back to himself and powers through.

His mind wanders often though, another reason to let them have him, so that they can scrub away every time that thing touched him. Every time it shared some fake memories with Yuri to trick him, to have him release info or whatever.

Why did it even do it? It’s the first time he knows of a Shell doing something like that. Are there more among them? Why did it not want them to get Yuri? Is it a part of some sort of rebellion?

No, he can't fall into that way of thinking. It’s dangerous and will only lead him to tragedy. Yuri scrubs his feet in the river harder. How he misses warm showers, and his bed with a pile of blankets, and cuddling on the couch with Grandpa while watching old movies and drinking hot chocolate on snowy days and sleeping with Potya on a sunny spot under the window and stargazing with O—

It isn’t fair. It isn't fucking fair that  _ it  _ continues to invade his mind like that after everything  _ it  _ did.  _ It  _ turned them in. It's  _ its  _ fucking fault they took Victor.  _ It  _ played with him like he was nothing. Laughed at him for months.

A twig snaps behind him. Yuri pulls his feet out of the water, straining to listen to the faintest sound, just in case. He dries them on his pants and puts on his shoes, not wanting to run barefoot through the forest.

There is nothing.

And that’s how they get him from behind.

They cover his mouth and try to carry him away, but he struggles and hits their head with his. It's only one of them, in the body of a middle-aged woman, so he runs, only stopping at a nearby tree to pick his ax. Yuri goes as fast as he can to where his car is, but there they are, already waiting for him.

So he does the next best thing and goes for their car instead. He hits the Shell at the wheel with the ax, and once it's dead—or temporarily out of service—he pulls it out and leaves it in the ground as he drives away. That poor person is free now. It’s a good thing Shells don't bleed, had it been a Zombie the driver's seat would have been left in a disgusting state.

It doesn't take long for them to start pursuit in a van. He can't let his guard down.

In the rearview, he gets a glimpse of himself and his future. For the rest of his life, is this what awaits him? Running away from them forever? Barely surviving for something that can’t be called a life? Living alone and miserable for whatever time is left?

No. He won't do this on their terms, he’ll end this on his own, as he should have done from the start. Yuri positions the car and hits the breaks. The Shells crash into him at high speed and he jerks in all directions.

When the world stops spinning and trying to beat him to a pulp, he is upside down, unharmed in a destroyed car. At least he is lucky in some things.

Yuri groans and undoes his seatbelt, which he put on more on habit than anything else. He makes it out through the window to see the body of a Shell on the floor. The others are still in the van, but they don't look like they’ll make it out any time soon.

Even if they do, the van and the car are destroyed. They can't turn him now. They can't do shit. Limping, Yuri goes a little left on the road, where the ax is. Time to finish the job and end these fuckers. One swift hit to the head should do the trick.

Once he is done, he sits by the side of the road. Now that the adrenaline is gone, the pain is starting to catch up to him. The crash did more damage than he first thought. If he’s lucky, he’ll die before more come to find him. It won't be long now, the world is starting to go out of focus. He’s too far away from any safe place, and if there was one nearby, he would still be too rattled to walk. His legs weren’t steady enough to carry him ten steps without falling over.

He lays down on the road, out of energy to keep sitting, and enjoys his last sunset clutching his ax close. When they find his body they’ll know he died fighting to the very end.

  
  
  


“Yura, Yura.” Little slaps on his cheeks. “No no no no no, please. Be okay. You’ll be okay. I promise.”

That voice is familiar and exactly what his heart has been craving for so long. Why did it ever go away? He holds the hand clutching his sweater with his and blinks. It's night, but the lights of his truck illuminate his face well enough. At least he’ll get to see him one last time. Even if it’s like this, even if it never meant to him what it did for Yuri.

“Beka.” He brushes away a tear on his cheek. Who knew Shells could cry. That was the last of his energy. Now that he is empty, it’s time to rest. He lets his hand drop and everything fades away.

  
  
  


A very grumpy face greets him early in the morning. “It wasn’t funny, Yura, I thought you died.”

“So did I.” Yuri sits in the back of the truck. Huh, so he kept it. “Guess I wasn't as hurt as I thought.”

“That was reckless.”

Yuri shoots him a nasty glare.

“Understandable but reckless.”

“Did you come to finish their job? Turn me in?” Yuri looks around for his ax. “What are you, some type of bounty hunter?”

“Yuri, everything I told you was the truth.”

“You expect me to believe that? No Shell remembers the life of the body they hijacked, not the real one at least, everyone knows that.”

The Shell shakes his head. “Yuri, I told you about it, sometimes the consciousness wakes up and retakes control of their body. You’re free to not believe me, but please listen.”

He did take care of him while he was hurt. He could’ve been attacked by a Zombie, so as a thank you, it might be okay this time.

“As I said, I was one of the first ones. I don't remember much, it was a long, heavy sleep. One I would try to get out of but never succeed. Like drowning in shallow water. Where you know you could be safe if only you could stand up, but getting pushed down and not being able to do so. The first thing I remember after that sleep is seeing your eyes on TV. They were still looking for you and Victor, and seeing you again woke me.

“I searched and while I heard it could happen, it was something rare and my parents weren't able to do it. I didn't belong there, with them. My body did, but I belonged out here, with you, with the rest of humanity. But I couldn't explain it, how could I when you looked at me like that? I'm sorry that I didn't say anything earlier, but it doesn't change what I feel for you or who I am. They might have taken my body, but my mind still belongs to me. As for my heart, you took that long ago.”

That was so sappy he can't resist rolling his eyes. But it was also sincere. What does he have to do so that he doesn't say anything like that ever again? How can he say it with a straight face? Why is Yuri’s face the one that burns and not his? Is that still possible for him?

It looks like he will continue with the cringe speech, so Yuri grabs him by the neck of the shirt and pulls him into a kiss. Chaste and quick as their last one. It works, he keeps his pretty mouth shut. “Let’s suppose I believe you, now what?”

“I’ve had two plans all along. I was going to tell you, eventually. The first one: stay in civilization. You move in with me and since I have the body of a Shell no one will question you. It would be dangerous and we would have to pretend forever and hope we don't get caught.”

“Wouldn’t they notice me aging? Do  _ you  _ still age?”

“I don’t, and we could move around. The second option: I can join you in the woods. We can keep each other safe but we'll remain hunted for years, never being able to stay in one place for too long."

“Sounds good to me.” Maybe with time, he can convince him to try a third option, he is too exhausted at the moment to even ask. In the meantime, he brings him into another kiss, then pushes him away. “Wait, what about when I’m like eighty and you’re still eighteen?”

Beka frowns. “Are you seriously complaining that you get to keep a hot, young boyfriend for the rest of your life?” He laughs softly at his face and Yuri would give anything for a rock to crush him at that moment. “That’s the true tragedy of the Apocalypse right there.”

Yuri shoves him. “Shut it, smartass, or no more kisses for you."

"Don't worry too much about it, rumor has it Shellie is trying to get vampirism going, get the humans to finish taking each other out."

Far from ideal, but for once, the future is uncertain and a bit hopeful.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe this took like a year and a half to write and post. Now there are no excuses to not work on the multichaps.
> 
> [My other stuff here. <3](https://april-storm-af.tumblr.com/Fanfic)


End file.
